The Only Person You Should Ever Compare Yourself To

It's incredibly easy to compare yourself to other people ... and incredibly destructive.

5th November 2015Leigh Ashton
compare yourself

Do you remember how back when you were in school, some of the silliest things seemed to be incredibly important? Having a certain haircut, shirt, or even pencil case could make or break your popularity! And while that seems childish as you get older, the root of all that drama actually applies in many peoples’ lives as adults: comparison.


It’s incredibly easy to compare ourselves to other people, but it can also be incredibly destructive.


When you compare yourself to someone who you think is more successful than you, you feel bad about your perceived lack of achievements, which leads to performance anxiety and analysis paralysis, where you’re constantly turned inwards, micromanaging yourself.

When you’re in this state, there’s no way that you can improve, and there’s definitely no way that you can be good at sales — you’ll end up talking yourself out of any sales activities that you feel you’re not good at. What’s more, when you’re in sales conversations you won’t be able to focus enough on the other person in the conversation to get a good sense of their ‘map’ or to really listen to them if you’re constantly stressed out about yourself.


The truth is, the only person you should ever compare yourself to is … you!


Instead of looking for other people to compare yourself to, compare yourself to the you of yesterday. Nobody else’s actions or performance matters as much as your own, because that’s all you have control over.

So focus on the attributes and skills you want to improve in yourself. While you can of course do this for all areas of your life, in a business context, those are going to be the attributes that will help you make more sales, like positivity, resilience, great listening, focusing on your IPAs, etc.


Then get practical


Once you’ve determined what attributes you want to focus on, it’s time to create a plan. Identify your current benchmarks for each. For instance, if you want to improve your positivity, then track the number of days you’re in a positive state, or the number of times you remember to use positive language before you get on a sales call.

Then set targets that will take you slightly beyond your benchmarks. Once you’re able to hit those targets 3 – 5 times, raise them again. Remember, you don’t have to make huge improvements right off, because even if you improve by a fraction each time, you’re still moving in the right direction.


Until next time,

Leigh xx

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